Oh, just shut up.

I'm eating breakfast. Well, I was until I read the newest post on one of my friends blog. It kinda sorta ruined my morning but I'm okay with that. Basically it was one of those "Oh,shit. My future! What do I do about it?" posts and I genuinely dislike them. Why? Because they're all the same. They've got the same pattern.

You see, I don't care about future.

...

That's a lie. I care about it a lot but I say I don't and I'm trying to make myself believe that. If honest, then I've got my future figured out, but what's holding me back is my lack of courage. I am a freaking coward, did you know that? And I'm an irresponsible asshole, as well a hypocrite and my actions often are very juvenile. What I'm trying to say is that I make a lot of mistakes.
Do you know what else I am trying to make myself believe? That I have no regrets. So far I'm doing a fantastic job believing that. I don't regret anything I've done and said because I believe that whatever I've done so far will lead me to where I want to be. And I think this mindset isn't all that bad though I sometimes wonder if believing that is what lets me make so many mistakes. I don't know.

I don't like it when I think about this stuff too much and lately I've been doing that a lot. I suppose it's because this is my last year in school and I've got to get my act together if I ever want to stop living in a teenage rebellion. I mean just look at my blog.. It reeks of juvenile rebellion. But that's okay.

okay.

Do you know where we are at this point in the post? We're at the end and do you know what happens in the end of these posts? You get enlightened. Do you know what you do then? You write a whole paragraph on how you're going to change your life, mindset and everything else. How you're inspired and fantastically motivated to just get out there and grab life by the balls. I'm not going to do that. That's not how I roll. I'll continue the way I always do.

Juvenile rebellion.

THIS IS NOT A PHASE, MOM. THIS IS WHO I REALLY TRULY ABSOLUTELY AM.